If you’re one of my friends, I really do apologize for what you’re about to read. At the same time, I know you can relate.

In today’s society, the concept of friendship has become somewhat of a myth. We are constantly surrounded by people who are supposedly our “friends,” yet in reality, most of these relationships are transactional, with each person expecting something from the other. We have become accustomed to the idea that friendships will eventually bend and break in the pursuit of our own self-interests, and that it is normal to view our relationships with other people primarily in terms of what we can gain from them.

This transactional approach to relationships has become the norm in Western Civilization. People are often more focused on what they can gain from others rather than how they can benefit their friends, and as a result, many relationships eventually become strained or broken. This “link or connection” mentality has become so prevalent that it is nearly impossible to find real and genuine friendships.

It is important to remember that relationships are not only about what we can get out of them. True friendships are based on mutual respect, understanding, and trust, and require investment and effort from both parties. While it can be difficult to find genuine friendships in our day-to-day lives, it is not impossible. By focusing on building relationships based on mutual respect and understanding, rather than what we can gain from them, we can begin to create meaningful and lasting friendships.

To help young men get out of this transactional mindset, it is important to practice mindfulness and develop qualities such as humility, respect, generosity, trust, care, responsibility, transparency, and integrity. Being any of these characteristics does not make you any less of a man. You can still be confident and masculine yet emanate the best qualities of giving a Helping Hand and strive to be virtuous on your way to becoming a servant leader.

So, next time you are tempted to view a relationship in terms of what you can get out of it, remember that real friendships are worth investing in. Genuine relationships are built on trust and understanding, and can bring immense joy and satisfaction to both parties.

Telling the truth has left me with no friends.

Imam Ali (A.S.)